I’m better than everyone I know.
Everyone knows, I told them so.
I’m righter, truer, braver, brighter.
Of stupidity I’m a tireless fighter.
I will teach you, beseech you, to see the light I see.
And if you don’t then you’re a fool and so will always be.
I cannot allow a moment of doubt,
of considering what if I fall.
My arrogant ruse is nothing more,
and really I’m quite small.
The swoop of a “D”, the swash of “Z”,
the loops in the “B”, the tuft of “G”.
Of all of life’s little pleasures so very satisfying,
none more beautiful than clean black ink from a confident pen flying.
Though love may come every once in a while,
with tears of sadness and the happiness of smiles,
Though anger strike in a flash of lightning,
or the apathy of despair, or fear of frightening,
Each emotion swells and ebbs with the flow,
coming when destined, until its time to go.
The one constant that stays at the end of days,
my loneliness alone never strays or betrays.
A healing touch is what I need.
A caring glance, an honest deed.
Your brilliance is without compare,
but a brightness of the coldest breed.
As a moth to a fire, I was drawn
to the magic of your dance and song.
Expecting to get burned, instead I found
a cold, quiet, indifferent jawn.
Bitten by frost, shriveled in a shell,
afraid to peek, or seek, or quell
the fear of never finding love,
giving up and settling in this hell.
But a healing touch could make me whole,
put me back in a husband’s role.
Though I may never love like that again,
I’ll love and live like a man once more.
I’ve held it in, as long as I could,
thinking that if I can I should,
even as I burned with rage
trapped within my mental cage.
I’ve let it out, without thought or care,
on strangers and loved ones: whoever was there
to witness a grown man melting down,
his twisted mouth making tortured sounds.
I’ve let it in, let it consume my being,
anyone who disagrees a filthy philistine,
until I shut absolutely everyone out,
my hate unwavering, no room for doubt.
I’ve let it go, knowing there’s nothing to be said.
Any hope of reconciliation is long gone and dead.
I feel no more anger, no hatred or disdain.
I now feel only numbness to both pleasure and pain.